The Tissa Fairy: A Follow-Up

I would say it was not unlike the first few days of drug rehab: hard to watch your loved one go through the withdrawal, but knowing he will come out better in the end.

On the Friday afternoon preceding The Tissa Fairy’s visit, Finny actually greeted the idea of The Tissa Fairy with a renewed excitement. After his last official nap with Tissa, I said, “Okay, do you think it’s time to gather all the Tissas and put them in the mailbox?”

“Yeah! Yeah! Let’s do it!” he shouted. All right, I thought, this is going better than I had imagined.

So, Finny, Jane and I walked around the house and gathered up all the Tissas, including Charlie’s unused Tissas, and put them in a box. Then, the three of us took a ceremonial walk to the mailbox where both Finny and Jane bid a fond farewell to our box of Tissas and then, we went back in to play.

But, I knew the true test would come that night when Finny climbed into bed for a story, which is why around 7:45 p.m., I hit the grocery store and let David put him to bed.

At 8:45 p.m., I called. “How’s it going?” I could hear Finny in the background screaming. “Well, let’s see,” David said, “He’s crying ‘Mama, I want my Tissa!’ over and over again and he’s periodically gagging himself.”

“Oh, no. I’ll come home. I should come home.”

“No, I’m handling it,” David said, “Go shopping.”

“Well, maybe you should go in there. Tell him it’s going to be okay. Tell him he’s a brave boy.”

“Jill, I’m handling it.”

So, I shopped and worried and shopped and worried, and when I walked in the door at around 10 p.m., all was quiet. David had fallen asleep in the spare bedroom beside Finny’s room. He wouldn’t explain why he was in there, but I knew. David is the softest tough guy I know. If he was gonna make Finny cry it out, he was gonna do it from the room right next door so that if at any point our little Tissa addict really needed him, he would not be far away.

David said he cried for about an hour. When I walked in, Finny was conked out, sucking the air, sucking the spot where Tissa used to be.

That night, Charlie was up from 2:30-4 a.m. playing and crying intermittently. I tried to stay back in hopes of training this eight-month-old to sleep through the night without a feeding, but finally at 4, I went in and nursed him. Two hours later Finny was up—early. I knew, sadly, that he would not go back to sleep. I knew that if he had Tissa to suck on, he would have. I knew that I was so tired and David was already at the golf course and I had to go in there.

I lay down next to him. “Mommy, I want Tissa,” he sobbed.

“I know, honey. You miss Tissa, don’t you?”

“Yes, I want her.”

“Let’s lay together, Finn. Let’s try to get a little more sleep.”

“But, Mommy, I want something.” He flipped all around, could not get settled, elbowed me in the face. I guess this was “the shakes” portion of his withdrawal.

“What do you want, Finn?”

“I want SOMETHING!” Such a sad little ache in his voice.

“Finny, Mommy’s tired,” such a sad little ache in my voice, “Let’s try to close our eyes for a little bit.”

But he flipped and flipped. “Mommy, the moon’s out. It’s a half moon. Let’s look at the half moon together.”

“Oh no, honey. Not now. Let’s be very quiet and try to rest for just a few minutes.”

Suddenly I felt a little nose rubbing my nose. “Nose kiss, Mommy.”

Man, was he cute. But Man, was I tired.

Eventually I turned on his light and told him to read some stories for a little bit while I went back to my bed and closed my eyes for just fifteen minutes. I just needed fifteen more minutes.

Twenty minutes passed and I heard his little knock. It was time to find out what The Tissa Fairy had left him.

Behind his bedroom chair we found a Spiderman action figure, a Superman book, and a yellow crystal ball—all requests made by the little boy in Tissa rehab. The yellow crystal ball was the last of the yellow bouncy balls in stock at Toys ‘R Us that night. He carried all three of his treasures around with him all day.

But come nap time…he remembered. The sobbing began. “Mama, I want my Tissa! Do you think The Tissa Fairy will bring it back to me?”

“No, honey. But you’re a good, brave boy and I think you can sleep without her. I’m proud of you.”

This talk went on for two days. A little crying, a little whimpering, a little squirming. And then…nothing. Not a peep. Just bed. Just naps. Just three-hour naps—without Tissa.

Huh. Miracle.

Soooo, I’m done, right? Big boy bed, potty training, Tissa Fairy. That was my list of tough stuff to conquer this year and now, I’m done. Time to call up The Tissa Fairy. See if she wants to join me for a glass of wine…a little toast, if you will, to a job well done. Maybe she and I can talk about The Tooth Fairy behind her back and figure out where the hell she is when the kids are getting the teeth. How bout a little somethin’ somethin’ for that, huh?

 
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