Wednesday, September 21, 2011

S*%t My Toddler Says


Finny on Game Playing…

     “Hey, Mommy! Wanna play this game with me?”

     “Sure, Finn. What’s it called?”

     “Um, it’s called ‘Bouncy Ball, Bouncy Ball.’”

     “Okay, how do you play?”

     “Well, you take these trains and you push them around the track, like this…” Vigorously pushes trains around his train table.

     “Oh, well, why don’t we call the game ‘Choo, Choo Train’ then?”

     “Because it’s called ‘Bouncy Ball, Bouncy Ball.’”


Later that same day…

     “Hey, Mommy! Wanna play this game with me?”

     “Sure, Finn. How do you play?”

     “Well, you just stack up these pillows, like this, and then you run and jump on them.” Vigorously dives into a pile of couch pillows.

     “Oh, that looks like fun. What do you call this game?”

     “Um, it’s called, ‘Ring Bell, Ring Bell.’”


Finny on Penis Size...

As I’m changing Charlie’s diaper…

     “Mommy, does Charlie have a big penis?”

     Suppressing a laugh, I say, “Well, no, not really. He’s just a baby.”

     Wondering what the heck is going on in his little brain, I probe, “Finny, do you have a big penis?”

     “No, I don’t,” he says.

     And just for the record, I probe a bit further, “Does Daddy have a big penis?”

      “Oh yeah, Daddy does.”

And there you have it, Goldilocks.

(Upon realizing I have posted this little anecdote in a blog post, David is either red with mortification or he’s struttin’ down to the cafeteria to get his afternoon coffee feeling preeetttty proud of himself.)


And Finally, Finny on Respect for his Elders…

Upon making the absurd request that Finny put his pants back on after using the potty, he marches over to me with a scowl on his face and says,

     “Mommy, I want you to go into a bear cave and get eaten by a bear! And then, I want you to be sad.”

Hey, Finn. Just trying to save you the embarrassment of walking around with that tiny penis hanging out. Cut a sister a break.





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